rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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