We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
