whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
