The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Randomize
