Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
