well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
