you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
