my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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