would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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