so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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