Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
