I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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