hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
