I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
