So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
