There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
