I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
