there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I came so hard my ears popped.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
