Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
