Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
