Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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