can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
