i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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