in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
