Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
