I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
