I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
