is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
