This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
