youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
