Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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