i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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