Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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