Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
