she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
