Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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