my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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