You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
