my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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