If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
worst night to have a conscience
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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