You're my little dorito
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
