Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How does it feel to date your dad?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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