I hope mine doesn't look like that
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
