Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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