at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
