I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
