Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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