ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
