Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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