well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
